Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Intellectually I know it's okay. Three kids is enough. They are awesome kids. And in a practical sense three is easy. And most importantly I do know that my Heavenly Father knows my circumstances and is pleased with our family. I'm certain this trial is by His design.
But the crux of my whole frustration is that is wasn't my choice. It wasn't my decision. I felt like I had just started "that phase" of my life and it was over.
Don't get me wrong, 99% of the time I have come to terms with what life has handed me, but every now and then it makes me sad.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
One of the things they did was make and eat caramel apples. They did there very best to get as much caramel on their faces as possible. They did a pretty good job!
Mercedez (we miss you), Haley and Allison
Four lifelong friends. Standing l-r: Monte Bowen and Stacey Grigg. Seated: Travis Palmer and Trent. Missing was Roger Ostler.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
*I have no blinkers in my van right now, so we have resorted to using arm signals until we can figure out what the problem is. Completely humiliating. I'm glad we have been reviewing hand signals in cub scouts for bike safety.
*Chiefs Girls Soccer is going to regionals for the FIRST TIME EVER!!!!! Soccer has been exhausting, expensive, frustrating and totally worth it. We are proud of London for making varsity as a freshman. She has had some growing pains with this new adventure but she has done pretty well for the most part.
*I am the pianist in Relief Society. I love to play the piano, but not for other people. Most of my piano skill is self taught. I have a decent amount of musical education but not a lot of actual piano lessons. Little story . . . I decided to take lessons at Ricks when I was there, so signed up. I showed up to lessons the first day to find we had team lessons. The other girl had obviously had years of piano lessons so I went from feeling fairly proud of my piano skills to completely pathetic. I don't remember much about lessons for the rest of the semester but the "Recital" will be forever etched in the "Most embarrassing file" for the rest of my life. I showed up to the recital with my faithful roommate. I think I was last and followed wonderfully, complicated piano pieces. I really wanted to climb under the chair I was sitting on and become completely invisible, but no such luck. Resigned I sat down and played my piece. Variations of Clair de Lune. All I can remember is mine was that piano piece that everyone politely sits through yet can't wait until it's over. My friend and I laughed all the way home. Anyway, today was another one of those days. I swear I'm like the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of pianists. I wasn't told what songs we were singing until I walked into relief society. Sometimes this is ok, but not today. The opening song was Have I done any good? and I couldn't get one note right, it was all I could do to keep from rolling on the ground laughing during the song it was so horrible. They would have been better off singing a capella. The practice song was Because I have been given much. I love that song and didn't miss one note. I even had crescendos and decrescenos. The last song was Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, nearly as bad as the first song. Somedays I am just so glad when the last note is sung, amen is said and I can put my hymn book away and call it good!
*I tried to make a witch hat out of cake for the Bruneel's annual Halloween party (good times!). I saw Paula Deene do this on her show. Pretty easy or so she made it seem. So I got up and made the cake before we headed out to the soccer game. When we got home I tried to put the layers together that form the hat but my cake was super crumbly. How on earth does one screw up a boxed cake mix? Anyway as I'm frosting it the cake is falling apart. I exclaim to Trent, "My cake is a disaster!" He comes and looks at it and says "Sure is Babe!" I quickly gave up. I did not have time to deal with that. I tasted it later that night, and although it was falling apart and looked terrible it tasted pretty good. So when Trent wanted to throw it away I wouldn't let him thinking the kids might enjoy it still (Brennan had made a token attempt at redeeming it for me, what a good boy!). Well Trent just announced that my cake was starting to look like the Sorting Hat.
*We have a couple new pets around here, thank you Trent. Crayfish. You probably didn't know crayfish could be pets did you? Well apparently you can when you have a 9 year old son in the house. He has been feeding them hot dogs. They are outside on the back patio in a tub. We had 3 but one died so now we have 2. Brennan disected the dead one, so in the tub are 2 crayfish and crayfish parts. I'm not sure how long we will be able to keep those 2 since we have a neighborhood cat that keeps trying to "fish" in the tub. I'll keep you posted!
*Reviewing this post I'm noticing a trend. It could very well be I need to learn a few things about pride. I guess I better ponder that, hmmmmmmmm!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Just to clarify. I, thankfully don't think anyone is gossiping about me or my immediate family. At least nothing too vicious and nothing that has wound it's way back to my ears.
This was in response to some things that were said about some people close to me that shall remain anonymous. But it was so frustrating to hear what was said and know it was pure untruth and very hurtful. It was a good lesson in how truly devestating gossip can be. So don't do it!!!!
I do not know who came up with that saying, but they are far from right.
A Jewish Proverb says "What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. "
I know we all gossip. I think it is the nature of human beings. Some are less inclined to do this than others and then there are those who have "diahrea of the mouth". So I am not going to use this post to further spread gossip but hopefully to warn. When you choose to pass on information think long and hard of the possible consequences. Are you sure it's absolute truth? And even then does it need to be passed along? What do you gain?
I have witnessed the unspeakable harm gossip can do to people. Some have weathered the storm fairly well, but they were in a good emotional state to begin with, where others were not. They were already in a vulnerable position and this has been devastating.
The mind is not as resilient as the body, therefore, sticks and stones may break a bone but that bone will heal, usually with no lasting effects, but "names" do hurt and can leave you crippled!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Today I am driving my 3rd grade son to school and he casually announces that he has a girlfriend.
"Oh, really? Who?" I ask. He tells me it's a little girl who is new to our school and neighborhood and to protect her future rep, we will refer to her as "Jane". I probe him further only to find out that this relationship is not really something he enjoys but rather tolerates. He proceeds to explain that "Jane" follows him around the playground and watches him play soccer and dreamily sighs at his prowess on the soccer field. Are you kidding me?
Okay, so I am belly rolling while he is telling me all this because they are in THIRD GRADE!!!!!!! And his non-chalance about it kills me.
So, after school, we have some more alone time and I quiz him further about his "girlfriend". He tells me he has decided to break-up with her. (Again I have a near car accident, because I'm laughing so hard.)
"Did you ask her to BE your girlfriend?"
"No, she told me she was my girlfriend."
This girls got guts, but I'll give it to her for going after what she wants, albeit a little young?!
Perfect opportunity to interject the fact that he is a little too young to have a girlfriend and the reminder he cannot date until he is sixteen, so he may want to kindly tell "Jane" that she is a nice girl but he is only not quite nine.
"Yeah", he says. "Maybe I'll like her when I'm 16."
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Nathan and his lovely wife Triscia were invited to an event last night featuring the band "Saving Abel". They didn't really want to attend but tickets were free and felt obligated, so they had London babysit while they went. Now, they had had a long but enjoyable day visiting a local Hutterite colony and Nathan was fighting a migraine so Trish was fairly certain that they wouldn't be gone long. You know, just make a token appearance and leave. Well, this was fine with me as London's mom because she had a long week with soccer tryouts and everything that went along with that this week, including a camp out that ended in a 4 mile run.
At about 10:30 pm last night my phone rings and caller ID says it's Nate. The phones won't connect so I'm yelling into my phone "Nathan!! Can you hear me?"
To which Brennan asks, "Is he drunk?"
I laugh, think about it for a second and say "No, I don't think so. I mean, no."
When he finally got through he tells me to hang on a second and then hear, "Hi, this is Scott from Saving Abel."
We proceed to have a very normal conversation about what a nice time he is having, including the fact that he is drunk and very happy about that. To which I reply, "Well at least you're happy about it." He says he is enjoying our lovely little town but that is quite different from Memphis, which I agreed that Memphis is probably quite a bit different from Moses Lake. And then he wanted to know if it would be OK for Nate to stay out a little bit longer since the party was just getting started.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
That was the happy thought. The others are more contemplative based on sad news.
One of our employees was killed in a car accident last weekend. He ran straight into the back end of a very large truck that was lit up like noon day. There was no attempt at braking or turning, just straight into the truck. I don't know if he had been drinking I think he definitely fell asleep and now he's gone. I'm sad for me because he was a genuinely nice person. Everyone, I kid you not, everyone knew him and liked him because he was very likeable. I'm sad for his kids because they will now have to journey their life without their dad. But I am the most sad for him. I know how much he loved life. He was a huge HS football fan, he DJ'd, he had a ton of friends and he adored his two girls and treated his step children like they were his own. So I have spent this past week pondering his grief. Does he grieve like we grieve for him? I know he is surrounded by those who have gone before him, but does that help in any way? I know we all die. For some it is at the end of a long and fulfilling life and although I'm sure we hate to leave those we love here I think we are ready for what is to come next. But at such a young age, do we mourn this life in heaven?
My final thought is about Stephanie Nielsons blog, NieNie Dialogues. I happened upon this blog several months ago and was immediately struck by the faith and love her family has for her and each other. When I first started reading I quickly learned that Stephanie and her husband had been in a terrible plane accident August of '08 and she had been burned over 80% of her body. Her family kept her blog going, reporting on her progress and finally Stephanie began posting herself. Some posts were postive and full of gratitude for life, family, her husband, her four darling children, Heavenly Father, etc. Others were frustrated and devastated and painful to read. But last week on the anniversary of her crash she posted a picture of herself. Previous pictures of her show a young, dark haired, freckle-faced, blue eyed beautiful girl. Now those freckles are gone replaced by the tell-tale scars of a burn victim.
I had mixed emotions. I was really proud of her for being so brave. I was in awe of her for being so brave. I was happy that there is a beauty about her. But I was also mad for her. She was a strikingly beautiful woman. I know it seems petty. When you read her words, her inner beauty exudes from her. But I am so sad that she only got that body for such a short period of time and will now be faced with the physical pain and limitations she has because of all the scar tissue. The stares she will face from those who might never know what she looked like before. It doesn't seem fair. I know life is not fair. This is her trial to face and she is facing it with dignity. But that is my thought for NieNie, that it doesn't seem fair.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I love this picture, because if you look closely, neither London's feet nor the ball are touching the ground. And you can see her wrapped arm. The arm injury is thanks to a Boy Varsity soccer player. Well, my Mom always told me "If you are going to play with the boys, you will probably get hurt." True, but that didn't stop her, the DR. told her not to play:)
I don't remember exactly what was going on here, but to brag for a moment, London is FAST. She set two school records in track this spring in the 100m and 200m. So, what probably is going to happen is she will split these two defenders and go for the goal. Hopefully she scored!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
As my doctor and I were working through various forms of medication to get control of the joint pain I found myself unexpectedly expecting. I very thankfully had an obstetrician appointment already scheduled. So I had my first prenatal visit at 6 weeks along. I cannot tell you how many times I have thanked Heavenly Father that that appointment was already in place. You see, I had no idea at the time how complicated a pregnancy could be with Lupus and on my own I would not have gone in until after the 12th week.
I was grateful because we were already in trouble and the next 8 months were filled with biopsy's, a lot of medication and several doctors with their accompanying visits.
Those who were around may recall the tell tale signs of corticol steroids, i.e. the huge face, zits and warts which brought on the whole separate issue of facing myself in the mirror every day trying to remember who "I" was, along with worrying for the child I was carrying, as the challenges he was potentially facing were huge as well.
Skip ahead, blessings were given, prayers were heard and although he came early, Brennan was fine. And so was I. Minimal damage done. Whewwww!
Now, my very smart, very active little miracle is a perfectly normal 8 year old.
Aside from a relapse a few years ago, I was a little lackadasical about taking my medication, my health is perfect.
And here is the good news I would like to share . . . my doctor dropped one of my medications and would like me to consider dropping "THE" drug that has kept me healthy these last few years. I may just not need it anymore!!!!! I may never have a Lupus flair again! WOW!
My personal mantra is "Lupus does not run my life, nor will it ruin my life." The only reminder on a daily basis that I have this disease is when I take my medications for the day. What will life be like if I don't even have that? I smile at the possibilities.
The moral for me in this is that prayers are answered. Of course they are almost never answered on our timeline but they are and of course prayers are not always answered the way we want them, but if I could have seen today from my eyes ten years ago I think I would have been okay with the outcome, but I certainly needed the journey.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
This past weekend was Isabelle's ballet recital. The director chose a Stars and Stripes theme to pay tribute to those who serve and have served in the Armed Forces. There was beautiful patriotic music and some beautiful dancing.
Isabelle is beautiful ballerina and the quote about ballet choosing the dancer definitely applies to her. We could tell very early on that she was meant for this art. She almost walked in first position and when soccer didn't seem to be exactly her cup of tea (she preferred twirling on the sidelines to scoring goals) we enrolled her at the Ballet Academy. She has been there for 6 years now.
Bless her heart too, she unselfishly watches countless soccer and basketball and volleyball games and even endured a couple of endless track meets this spring and never feels sorry for herself that she only has one recital a year. Because of this generous attitude we try to make her recital weekend a big deal. Everything is about her that weekend and everything else comes second.
I have to say I burst with pride every year as I see how much she has grown from the previous year. But it's no suprise at the improvement considering she dances 4 days a week. This year she graduated up to the pre-pointe class, which for those of you less knowledgeable in ballet is a BIG deal. This means she is that much closer to the ultimate goal of dancing in pointe shoes!
Her feet, however, need to cooperate a little more and quit growing. Hopefully next spring we'll be able to take a trip to the dance supply store in Spokane and buy her first pointe shoes! I can't wait.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Saturday started out with some serious overdue yard work, then down to the 3v3 courts, through the Classic Car Show for some serious offending of the 8th commandment and back to the carnival for some more ridiculously expensive carnival food. I had a Gyro. Of course the night ended with the annual Moonlight Parade. (More like an advertisement parade, but that's another blog)
Sunday morning brought church which is often a relief after an especially crazy weekend followed by a scrumptious BBQ at our house with my family, sans Mother as she has a nasty cold. I made an addictive Basil Tomatoe Salad with Lemon Vinaigrette, yum! And the cousins wore themselves out completely! A sure sign of a successful family function.
Monday morning arrived way too early but my little cubscouts, the Wolves, were in charge of the Flag ceremony at the ward Memorial Day breakfast. We had been practicing for 2 weeks. I was sure we were going to do something wrong and offend every Veteran and Serviceman there. But I think it went off without a hitch and the boys were complimented mightily so I breathed a huge sigh of relief and enjoyed a yummy, cooked by somebody else, pancake, sausage and egg breakfast.
Home we went to get ready for Trent's family's annual picture at Grandpa Dodgen's graveside and then off to the park for the final "Food Function" of the weekend, when . . . .
Here is where I would like to get on my soap box and rant and rave about how this society is seriously lacking in anything resembling morals and ethics. Where everyone should have a copy of the Proclamation to the World in their home and the dads need to step it up and be men and teach their sons what it really means to be a man.
AND BEING A MAN IS NOT BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE WHEN I AM HELPING CUBSOUTS RAISE A FLAG THAT IS THE SYMBOL OF ALL THE FREEDOMS THEY ENJOY IN THIS COUNTRY AND STEAL MY STUFF!!!!!!!
This was the give away. The basket that holds our XBOX and Wii remotes, games etc. Notice to the left the empty hole where our videos are kept? They stole our new release videos including Twilight and Phantom of the Opera. Jerks! The left however, all the Living Scripture videos. Those they should have taken!
Next we moved through the house and discovered they broke in through mine and Trent's bedroom window that was cracked open slightly.
This is the grody footprints on the sheets of my bed.
They stole perfume and cologne. Knives that were Trent's dad and grandpa's. My jewelry which is mostly department store jewelry, but my YW medalion and my promise ring from Trent was with that jewelry. They stole Isabelle's money and the girls jewelry and went through Brennans room but didn't take anything. Luckily they didn't see the DS under his bed.
Below is the outside of my window covered with finger print dust.
Yes, finger print dust. And did we find finger prints? Yes we did, but even better than that (dummies) we are pretty sure we saw them walking past our house before we left and even better (dummies) London knows who they are and showed their pictures from the yearbook to the police and even better than that, the neighbor boy saw the same kids (dummies) running from our house while we were gone. And even stupider they live on our street. Shall I say DUMMIES one more time? DUMMIES! Oh, and lest I forget, one of the dummies just got out of jail so I'm hoping that it's his fingerprints all over MY stuff.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Well a year later, I feel that it's purpose has changed a little for me.
I do enjoy posting about the family and what's going on, but I would also like to use this as an outlet for some creative writing.
I once did creative writing for the newspaper prior to being married. Creative writing is something I enjoy a lot. My kids are a little older and I feel it is time to readdress some of the creativity I hope is hidden inside. I am on the one year count down to 40 Yikes!!!!! and am desirous of exploring this talent.
I have been pondering this for some time and apparently today is the day to make the transition.
Please wish me well and continue to read.
Do your knives look like this after the kids (hubby included) make PB sandwiches?