Thursday, December 17, 2009

What life brings . . .

So. Every now and then I get hit with a wave of grief. As fresh today as the day 9 years ago when I realized my child bearing was done. Who knows what brings it on. The fact that my sister is having her first any day now could be the trigger to these pangs. Other times I see families with several and several in my personal dictionary is more than three, children and wonder if we are missing someone.
Intellectually I know it's okay. Three kids is enough. They are awesome kids. And in a practical sense three is easy. And most importantly I do know that my Heavenly Father knows my circumstances and is pleased with our family. I'm certain this trial is by His design.
But the crux of my whole frustration is that is wasn't my choice. It wasn't my decision. I felt like I had just started "that phase" of my life and it was over.
Don't get me wrong, 99% of the time I have come to terms with what life has handed me, but every now and then it makes me sad.

4 comments:

Danielle said...

I totally hear ya, Kim! When it's out of your control, it's a lot harder to take.
It's okay to let it get to you every once in a while. We aren't all strong all of the time. 1% out of 100% isn't bad at all, in my opinion!

Just Asking ... said...

Well, as the Lord said, His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. They are always higher. We can't see the forest from the trees, but we can take assurance in the fact that someone with perfect understanding and clearity made a perfect decision regarding us. We may not grasp why, but we continue forward allowing ourselves to grow based on the fact that as a result, we will be sanctified by the direction the Lord takes us. As Walt Disney said, "We keep moving forward."

Stacey said...

Its okay to be sad sometimes. Love you,

:] said...

Totally blog-stalking you, but I just wanted to let you know that I love this post!

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