Sunday, August 18, 2013

Auto- [in]correct

I think my IQ has dropped a few points in the short year and a half since I got my new "smartphone". It has also reduced me to throwing temper tantrums like a frustrated 2 year old. All because of auto-correct. My phone is supposed to be smart and I mistakenly assumed it would make me smarter. Wrong. I am now a bad speller with horrible grammar. This is a problem. You see, I am a fantastic speller with generally above average grammar. I take great pride in this. I've always been a very good speller. I was the annoying kid in elementary school who got to do self-motivated classwork in language arts and spelling because I was so far ahead of my peers. The kids 4th grade teacher always has the "Dreaded: They're, their and there" test. Ha! Not dreaded by me!  But now I have a smart phone and it thinks it's smarter than me. Making word choices for me assuming I don't know what I'm talking about.Then if i forget . . see I just did it . . .my smart phone would have autocorrected that i to an I.. Oh and the double period. Another bad typing habit picked up because of "smart" phone use. As I was saying, if I forget to proofread my text or email I have ended up sending the most ridiculous texts or emails. Some so ridiculous they have to be followed by an explanatory text or email.
For example, I was talking to my good friend about some of the many important life skills one can learn on Duck Dynasty. We were planning a goat shopping trip and then learning how to cook squirrel brains when this happened:
Me: Well if we're going to cook squirrel brains, then we should also catch, kill, selfless and cook some bullfrogs.
Me again: Not selfless, de-hide!!
And again: The art of ripping he skin inside outbid a bullfrog. A lost art.
The illiteracy was rampant that night!!!!

Then while texting London's new college soccer coach I say:
Just got Jose last couple of messages. I'll have her get in touch with you if necessary.

Coach John: Kim, this is John, not Jose.
Aye carumba
Yes those not Jose!!!
I end up screaming at the palm sized device like an absolute loon!

Okay really, I know they could be worse. I've seen worse and of course, auto-correct mishaps have spawned a website just for the purpose of sharing those "D%#n" auto-corrections. But I'm terrible at science and deplore math. All I've got are my good spelling skills. So rest assured, I will prevail in the tug of war of words between me and my phone!

London playing soccer

London playing soccer
Varsity Soccer 2010

Isabelle the Ballerina

Isabelle the Ballerina
First pointe shoes


Hanging out on the potato piler