Ten years ago this fall I was diagnosed with Lupus. This news was a little hard to accept since out of the litany of symtoms associated with Lupus, I had one. Joint pain. I obviously was not at all happy to receive this news and, of course, had to face every potential worst case scenario that an illness like this could bring. However, there was some comfort in the form of a very clear message of the spirit that told me I would not deal with this my whole life, and as can happen when we are told something by the spirit, I believed this as sure as I believe in the sun rising and setting.
As my doctor and I were working through various forms of medication to get control of the joint pain I found myself unexpectedly expecting. I very thankfully had an obstetrician appointment already scheduled. So I had my first prenatal visit at 6 weeks along. I cannot tell you how many times I have thanked Heavenly Father that that appointment was already in place. You see, I had no idea at the time how complicated a pregnancy could be with Lupus and on my own I would not have gone in until after the 12th week.
I was grateful because we were already in trouble and the next 8 months were filled with biopsy's, a lot of medication and several doctors with their accompanying visits.
Those who were around may recall the tell tale signs of corticol steroids, i.e. the huge face, zits and warts which brought on the whole separate issue of facing myself in the mirror every day trying to remember who "I" was, along with worrying for the child I was carrying, as the challenges he was potentially facing were huge as well.
Skip ahead, blessings were given, prayers were heard and although he came early, Brennan was fine. And so was I. Minimal damage done. Whewwww!
Now, my very smart, very active little miracle is a perfectly normal 8 year old.
Aside from a relapse a few years ago, I was a little lackadasical about taking my medication, my health is perfect.
And here is the good news I would like to share . . . my doctor dropped one of my medications and would like me to consider dropping "THE" drug that has kept me healthy these last few years. I may just not need it anymore!!!!! I may never have a Lupus flair again! WOW!
My personal mantra is "Lupus does not run my life, nor will it ruin my life." The only reminder on a daily basis that I have this disease is when I take my medications for the day. What will life be like if I don't even have that? I smile at the possibilities.
The moral for me in this is that prayers are answered. Of course they are almost never answered on our timeline but they are and of course prayers are not always answered the way we want them, but if I could have seen today from my eyes ten years ago I think I would have been okay with the outcome, but I certainly needed the journey.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The ballet is a purely female thing. It is a woman, a garden of beautiful flowers, and man is the gardener.-George Balanchine-
This past weekend was Isabelle's ballet recital. The director chose a Stars and Stripes theme to pay tribute to those who serve and have served in the Armed Forces. There was beautiful patriotic music and some beautiful dancing.
Isabelle is beautiful ballerina and the quote about ballet choosing the dancer definitely applies to her. We could tell very early on that she was meant for this art. She almost walked in first position and when soccer didn't seem to be exactly her cup of tea (she preferred twirling on the sidelines to scoring goals) we enrolled her at the Ballet Academy. She has been there for 6 years now.
Bless her heart too, she unselfishly watches countless soccer and basketball and volleyball games and even endured a couple of endless track meets this spring and never feels sorry for herself that she only has one recital a year. Because of this generous attitude we try to make her recital weekend a big deal. Everything is about her that weekend and everything else comes second.
I have to say I burst with pride every year as I see how much she has grown from the previous year. But it's no suprise at the improvement considering she dances 4 days a week. This year she graduated up to the pre-pointe class, which for those of you less knowledgeable in ballet is a BIG deal. This means she is that much closer to the ultimate goal of dancing in pointe shoes!
Her feet, however, need to cooperate a little more and quit growing. Hopefully next spring we'll be able to take a trip to the dance supply store in Spokane and buy her first pointe shoes! I can't wait.
Here she is (sorry it's a little blurry) during one of the dances.